There use to be a rhyme and rhythm...

It's 5:26am and I am still having problems sleeping. I haven't even started working yet, and already every morning I wake up at about this time. Usually around 3:36am. What the fuck. Hope no kids find this site. Or maybe I do. Maybe they will find it and learn what not to be. I mean, this is like the fifth, sixth, tenth, twentieth night in a row that I have waken up stressing at odd hours of the night.

And it is always odd, never even.
Ok, maybe 4:30 once.

Either way, one little thing that a friend said yesterday to me and I am loosing my mind. I am supposed to start this job next week, and he says to me, "Well, I guess that the art has finally lost."

I guess I don't have to worry about anyone reading this either, because I don't even pay attention to my own blog.

It's like a child that you raise to the age of five and then abandon.

Holy shit. That was me. I was that five year old kid. My father raised me until I was five and then he abandoned me. Why?

Maybe the answer to that I will never know.

Not that I have to worry again, because noone is reading this blog. And if they are, then they are sicker then me, and that makes me scared.

Self diagnosis is never a good idea kid. I should make an other podcast. Oh well. Play the saxophone? I guess I am not really sure what I am supposed to be doing anymore.

Where is my Hero?

Hello Everyone!

Who is reading this! Please god, let some strange fait bring a hero my way.

I need help. A brother. Someone to help me put up a show this Sunday in the west village.

I need 4 15 minute shows, or some assembly of shows that equals 60 minutes.

The whole process will be SNL style. All the material will be looked over on Tuesday, actors picked on Wednesday and start rehearsing, show on Sunday. Sound like fun? Sound intense? Well, if you know me you know that I am intense.

Give me a jingle if you are interested.

B The Money Machine

Does Grapes start with a P?

The second day of our lord, crash and burn and scorn my mother.

I need a new hard drive. One of those ones that plugs into the Fire Wire port. What's it called. an I.I.E.E. 4.1 port, or something like that?

Can I buy an other vowel please?

I played scrabble yesterday, and totally kicked Lauren's ass. She and the other girl I was playing against thought they were so much smarter then me, and I scored a 154!

The last time I bowled I scored a 148.

I am watching a wasp sting a green bug to death and now it is manching on it's face. It just flew away. Imagine if wasps were the size of humans. We would be screwed.

So, I have started to write in my blog more regularly because I have become increasingly jealous that my friends, and GF are reading other people's sights, and they find them funnier then mine. BoooHoo. I need to figure out how to post pictures, and then I will really be the coolest.

Here's a photo of me acting all professional like. Yea. Who would have thought I could look so clean. But why didn't he tell me that my tie was all crooked?

Ants are crawling on my ankles now and biting me for no apparent reason, other then I am sitting here. Little bastards.

What the hell Happened To Bill, the Wild Wonder Dog?

Ok. My girl friend seems to have a sickness. It is called, I CAN"T TELL WHAT COLOR DRINKS ARE. It could be the abnormally large classes that she wears on her heaD, that cause her color schema detecting devices to work properly.

Here's the case:

The drink, greatful dead at Charlies in Amehrst, MA is purple. She seems to think it is Pink. Are you insane Woman?

This is going to the ring!

This is going to the pool side.

To the Pool Cue.

To the edge of the world.

And where ever you may wonder, where ever you may be, I will find you and dismantle your bomb of time distortion. Which allows you to eat all the Hershey's kisses that you want.

Hershey's is made with sour milk, BTW, because the soldiers from WWII like it that way.

Everything we do in this country is because the soldiers from WWII like it that way.

Well, now it is what the Chinese want.

It is true, Majority, excuse me, Minority rules.

Except in the Hamptons.

There the minority rules, except there the minority is the majority.

The majority drives a Ferrari...

In Vermont, Where there is an other large concentration of the Minority Majority, they also Drive Ferrari's...

And Porches...

But the Majority Drives Fords and GMC's. Pick Ups that is.

Wait. You don't know where Vermont is?

No. It is not part of Canada.

Did they teach you U.S. Geography in 6th Grade?

I guess not. Where did you come from? Massachussets.

Oh. You are right. MA is the center of the universe. Why would you have to learn about anyone else?

Oh...and BTW. The hole point of this was to tell you that the Greatful Dead, is a purple Drink.

Thank you and good night.

Podcast

Here is the recording of my first show. Please tell your friends about it, and send me any suggestions you might have.

This is my first attempt at using Podcast. It seems pretty involved to me right now, and not one of the easiest process to understand. But I am getting it.

All the music I wrote myself, and that's what this post is about mostly. I try to have a couple interviews with people but that goes sour. I also experience the phenomenon of dead air more then once, but am able to cut some of it out with post editing. All the software and manipulation I have done myself. It's really been an educational experience up until now and there is so much more to come. Now, do I have to get a paying day job is I am doing all this work. :-) I really look forward to hearing from you other pod casters and getting advice, or criticism about what can be done better.

Download my podcast here


Thanks...

Where too now Captain?

So, dating is hard to do, and breaking up is my forte. I love getting into a relationship about as much as I like getting out of one. Working out the details, never been good for me. If you are going to bitch at me, and snap at me, and just irritate me in general, then I'll send you packing. Or I'll go packing. One or the other.

So, where too now? Well, I have had a successful adult career of failure. What is the job title and industry for that?

I haven't stepped off yet...

I can't quite get it into my head to write something deep and meaningful here. Still haveing trouble with realtionships. I would like to consult someone proffesional about this, but I don't feel that I have the time. What to do next?

Where does it go from here?

Ok, so I am no longer a Post Man if you hadn't gathered. Actually, I am a bartender now at several of the fine theaters in the Greater City area.

So, today at work I met this totally cool young woman. I think I am really into her, but after the recent break up, I really just want to take it slow. I am not looking to rush into anything, and want to make sure I get all the information I need up front before I move on. I will probably read my dating book, to see what it says I should do.

What the F*CK! I am going to dinner tonight with two friends of mine. My one friend wrote to tell me that it is going to be pizza and that they want me to fix there computer. That's good for me. I need to grow my clientele and since I am good at what I do, and they are making me dinner, what the hell.

Well, how long should you wait before you ask a girl for her number?

Gotta Go To Work

I am going to be late to work, but I just wanted to write a little something. Does not having sex for a long time determine your sexuality one way or the other, or does it just mean you are insecure? This has been a topic of discussion amongest my friends for a while now. SOMEBODY SEND ME THE ANSWERS!!!!