Does Grapes start with a P?

The second day of our lord, crash and burn and scorn my mother.

I need a new hard drive. One of those ones that plugs into the Fire Wire port. What's it called. an I.I.E.E. 4.1 port, or something like that?

Can I buy an other vowel please?

I played scrabble yesterday, and totally kicked Lauren's ass. She and the other girl I was playing against thought they were so much smarter then me, and I scored a 154!

The last time I bowled I scored a 148.

I am watching a wasp sting a green bug to death and now it is manching on it's face. It just flew away. Imagine if wasps were the size of humans. We would be screwed.

So, I have started to write in my blog more regularly because I have become increasingly jealous that my friends, and GF are reading other people's sights, and they find them funnier then mine. BoooHoo. I need to figure out how to post pictures, and then I will really be the coolest.

Here's a photo of me acting all professional like. Yea. Who would have thought I could look so clean. But why didn't he tell me that my tie was all crooked?

Ants are crawling on my ankles now and biting me for no apparent reason, other then I am sitting here. Little bastards.

What the hell Happened To Bill, the Wild Wonder Dog?

Ok. My girl friend seems to have a sickness. It is called, I CAN"T TELL WHAT COLOR DRINKS ARE. It could be the abnormally large classes that she wears on her heaD, that cause her color schema detecting devices to work properly.

Here's the case:

The drink, greatful dead at Charlies in Amehrst, MA is purple. She seems to think it is Pink. Are you insane Woman?

This is going to the ring!

This is going to the pool side.

To the Pool Cue.

To the edge of the world.

And where ever you may wonder, where ever you may be, I will find you and dismantle your bomb of time distortion. Which allows you to eat all the Hershey's kisses that you want.

Hershey's is made with sour milk, BTW, because the soldiers from WWII like it that way.

Everything we do in this country is because the soldiers from WWII like it that way.

Well, now it is what the Chinese want.

It is true, Majority, excuse me, Minority rules.

Except in the Hamptons.

There the minority rules, except there the minority is the majority.

The majority drives a Ferrari...

In Vermont, Where there is an other large concentration of the Minority Majority, they also Drive Ferrari's...

And Porches...

But the Majority Drives Fords and GMC's. Pick Ups that is.

Wait. You don't know where Vermont is?

No. It is not part of Canada.

Did they teach you U.S. Geography in 6th Grade?

I guess not. Where did you come from? Massachussets.

Oh. You are right. MA is the center of the universe. Why would you have to learn about anyone else?

Oh...and BTW. The hole point of this was to tell you that the Greatful Dead, is a purple Drink.

Thank you and good night.